Frustrated?


Is it worth feeling the pain, is it okay to get up every day and expect the most unexpected, and still get disappointed every time you get a fleeting hint of fulfillment, yet you still wake up every day, you decide, maybe this is the day, but does it ever come?
How many times in a day do you wish that you weren’t the person that you are, that you weren’t  human, that you didn’t have a heart, that would hurt for everybody who means something to you, and wound your insides whenever you didn’t get what you deserve?
Do you feel like you’re being cheated on with life? That you gave it your all, and maybe good things weren’t meant for you.
That whenever you wanted to try harder than you already had, you pushed too hard, or slipped in every instant. And whenever the fight seemed likely to be won, you’d lose roughly.
Whenever you tried to tame your passion, when it was understood that the world was yours, it just really wasn’t. When you wanted something, but were too afraid to let go of the image of the past that haunts you whenever you look back, and every time you looked forward, it never got better.
When something hurt you, yet you’d keep going back to earn the immense pleasure of that ache?
When you were stuck in a crowd, and felt more alone than anything and just wanted that one person?
And whenever you were with the person you wanted to be with, you realized, they just weren’t with you in the same way.
It feels like losing every war that you’ve ever managed to earn, every limit on every risk that you’ve taken, every rule on the freedom which you struggled to gain, and you were always the last man standing trying to fix things, when the other party had walked away.
So isn’t it unfair to you? Don’t you wish you weren’t human? Don’t you try to count the lessons that you’ve learnt in the short span of time that you got to spend on yourself?; still you sit alone, reading something that so finally relates to you, looking to find a solution at the end.
But here’s to another addition to your list of disappointments, it’s not the end, no, it’s only the beginning, and the only consolation that you’d receive would be that it’s not just you, you’re not alone.

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